Athletic Antics, by Joanne Faries
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Athletic Antics, by Joanne Faries
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She stood, frozen, at the edge of the diving board. At an early age, Joanne Faries demonstrated absolutely no athletic ability. In Athletic Antics, her latest humorous memoir, the author describes riding her bicycle into the back of a car; climbing trees and sliding (not on purpose) down them scraping every inch of her body; plus surviving the duress of junior high field hockey, lacrosse, and volleyball. YMCA swim achievements (Tadpole, Minnow, Fish, etc.) were halted by the diving board and the teacher nemesis, Ruthie. Would Joanne move on to accomplish Flying Fish and Shark? Could she squint enough to see the other end of the pool? There are men who sing hallelujah upon the birth of a left-handed son, a future Hall of Fame pitcher. Left-handedness can be a blessing or curse. In archery class, being left-handed did not result in a murder, but it came close. In regards to tennis, Joanne's initial serves baffled her opponents and nabbed a few wins. Joanne used every English teacher pass excuse possible to work on school newspapers or yearbook, but sooner or later she faced the horror of gymnastics and had to inch her way across the four inch by sixteen-foot balance beam of death. Track and field was not her forte, nor was basketball, soccer, or any sport involving one's hands and/or feet. As a follow up to her memoir My Zoo World about her fear of animals in an animal loving world, Joanne Faries looks at her athletic life in quirky fashion. Laugh at her foibles, identify with her unattractive gym class attire, and fall off the ski tow rope (on the wrong side) with her. Athletic Antics covers an assortment of sports, and according to her Wii Fit Plus, Joanne Faries cannot walk a straight line.
Athletic Antics, by Joanne Faries- Amazon Sales Rank: #4130547 in Books
- Published on: 2015-06-29
- Original language: English
- Dimensions: 9.00" h x .51" w x 6.00" l,
- Binding: Paperback
- 204 pages
About the Author Joanne Faries, originally from the Philadelphia area, lives in Texas with her husband Ray. Published in Doorknobs & Bodypaint, she also has poems in Silver Boomer anthologies. Joanne is the film critic for the Little Paper of San Saba. Look for her humorous memoir My Zoo World: If All Dogs Go to Heaven, Then I'm in Trouble, a story collection Wordsplash Flash and three poetry books - Wordsplash Poetry Puddle: Nature, Hazy Memory, and Tread Water on Amazon. http://wordsplash-joannefaries.blogspot.com
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Most helpful customer reviews
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful. But She Never Gives Up By Susan Flett Swiderski We can't all be star athletes, and if the truth be known, there are a lot more of us mediocre athletes around than there are Olympians. But most of us haven't written a book about our mishaps, and invited the world to laugh along with us about them.And laugh you will, too, because it's funny as all get-out. Anyone who can remember the agonies of da feet and defeat from ye olde gym class days will especially get a kick out of this book, but I think there's something here for all readers, no matter how high or low their athletic skills may be. One thing that really shines through for me in this book? Joanne may not be the best athlete in the world, but she's gotta be one of the world's best sports. That gutsy gal is willing to try just about anything... anywhere. And no matter what happens, she has the ability to laugh at herself, dust herself off, and try all over again. She's the Energizer bunny... with scabs on her knees and a smile on her face.But don't take my word for it... read the book yourself!
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful. Bloody delightful By Robyn Alana Engel A delightfully cringe-worthy read. I couldn't help but want to comfort Joanne after every smash, crash and bloody, humiliating, yet brave athletic undertaking. Yet I laughed throughout the book. I suppose I could relate to all of it, being a clumsy klutz in my own right. But this author is much more courageous. Nothing stops her from joining her classmates and friends in any and all ventures. The book took me back to elementary school, wherein the dreaded red bouncy ball ruled the day. It reminded me of days when I was thrilled to be picked, not last, but second to last, for a team. It catapulted me into the hell that was Junior High, and I could hear the shriek of a gym teacher's whistle. The author's writing style makes for a very fun read, despite her loss of pride and blood. Thus, in the end, she is clearly a champion.
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful. Full of Laughs! By C. Biltz Anyone who has ever prayed for a fire drill during gym class will empathize with Joanne Faries. Although she feels clumsy, awkward, and inept at various sports, Joanne deserves credit for always being willing to try something new. She tries everything imaginable that is available to her from kindergarten to high school and beyond. What she may lack in skill, she makes up for in effort. In spite of being left-handed and always on the fringes of athletic talent, she does have moderate success in some sports. Unfortunately, many others leave her bruised and bloodied with gravel embedded in her knees. Who hasn’t felt the pressure of being in the public eye when trying to excel at physical endeavors? All of us who were born with minimal athletic talents and who would rather be at home reading a book than trying to stay upright on a balance beam or run laps around a track jumping hurdles will laugh along with the author. Despite suffering cringe-worthy injuries, Joanne is still a good sport and knows that the pain is eased by being able to laugh at herself. You will cheer for her while you are laughing. In my opinion, Joanne and her book are both winners!
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